It’s really hard to say how I’m feeling at the moment. I could type out all the things I’m feeling (started the list and then replaced it with this sentence), but that’s cliche, and it’s just a lot. I know God has a plan for me. I know He will see me through this lull and throw me into something way bigger than I can imagine. But right now, in this moment, I feel like I’m being left out to dry. I don’t even know what I’m writing this post for.
I refuse to be scared or operate out of fear anymore, but I just got off the phone with my brother, Bradley, and he told me there are still a lot of distractions in my life. I guess I have been tactless while job hunting, but I didn’t see it as “distractions” until he mentioned it. There is a line between operating out of fear, and operating without a plan. But how do you operate when God doesn’t lay out a plan for you?
I don’t know.
I have just been taking every opportunity that gives me the time of day and saying “yes” to it. All of them have failed so far, no need to worry. But if I have no freaking clue what I’m supposed to be doing, and God won’t call out to me in a big, booming voice or light up an aisle I’m supposed to walk down, so naturally, I resort to being a fearless “yes man.”
Why am I typing this? Your guess is as good as mine. I guess I just needed somewhere to put the thought.